Posts
1457
Joined
5/31/2017
Location
Grass Valley, CA
US
Edited Date/Time
3/12/2018 2:33pm
When I leave the house, I get my wallet and sunglasses and walk out the door.
When my wife and daughter leave the house, it's minimum two hours preparation (long showers, dressing and choosing clothes, make-up, take a break for some internet, have a snack, chat a bit). I think we are on hour three right now. It gets on my nerves for some reason- like I am being held in some state of suspension. It is literally an all day affair to go to the grocery store.
I am sure others have similar stories...
When my wife and daughter leave the house, it's minimum two hours preparation (long showers, dressing and choosing clothes, make-up, take a break for some internet, have a snack, chat a bit). I think we are on hour three right now. It gets on my nerves for some reason- like I am being held in some state of suspension. It is literally an all day affair to go to the grocery store.
I am sure others have similar stories...
She also likes the Keurig. I f'ing hate that damn thing. The coffee tastes like butt. Coffee pot all day for me.
The Shop
Sometimes I think she's on a mission to bankrupt me.
Society does a number on women. Our culture pretty much tells them their value is in their appearance and everything else is a distant 3rd to that.
Dont get me wrong, I like it when my wife gets her hair done and dress up for a nice dinner. But the fact that her self worth hinged on stuff like that really explains a lot about society.
Im looking forward to raising my daughter differently. Im kinda relishing the challenge of raising a girl that can offer the world more than just a good figure and pretty smile. Who knows if I will succeed in that goal or not. After all, Im a product of this culture as well. There's only so much I can be conscious of. It's our subconscious thoughts & actions that have the greatest influence on those around us.
Dont get me wrong, I fully acknowledge that Men & Women are biologically different. And those differences should be respected. Im also a firm believer in roles in a relationship. But I think women are capable of extraordinary stuff if they bar is set high from the onset. The moment they're able to flirt their way out of work or effort in life, is the moment they start giving up on their potential. And eventually a woman without a brain or any work ethic becomes some poor guys nightmare of a wife, no matter how beautiful.
And me and JAFO92 might as well be living on different planets! I can see me telling my wife I am going to cut her hair from now on.
Pit Row
I have friends who get physically ill when their wife calls.
My wife is VERY aware of her shortcomings. She was raised to be "the pretty one". Stand next to your brother on the podium and smile. Dont talk unless spoken too. And school was an afterthought. Her parents did a number on her on a range of fronts. Typical of what most girls have to endure unfortunately.
I fell in love with her despite all that. She's extremely competitive, has gifted athletic genes, and is mentally very strong....oh, and she seems to think Im pretty awesome despite my dispositions.
I have little doubt our daughter will inherit those positive genes and her good looks. But my wife is dead set on not letting our daughter settle on her genetics the way she was allowed. There wont be makeup in the house. And we plan on pushing her pretty hard in sports and education. Ultimately she's gonna follow mom's lead.
We're not aiming to raise some feminist nazi who hates men. And we wont be disappointed if she ends up a housewife. I just want her to be making the choice for herself, not because it's what society tells her to do or because that's all she's good for. Because IMO, those dont make for good housewifes. A good housewife is a "different" yet equal asset to her husband.
Ive had some say that I put way too much thought into this sorta stuff. But I cannot imagine not putting thought into it and having some sort of plan or goals.
Yeah, women put a lot of pressure on each other but as they say, "how we talk to our children one day become the voices in their heads". Dads in this country need to do better. Im hoping I can.
As for the #Metoo movement... That is a dynamic topic that I think has a LOT of it's roots in the fact that we live in a pretty sexually repressive society. Specifically in the way women are punished for enjoying sex. This sorta pressure hits them VERY early on and causes all sorts of mental issues with regards to their sexuality. If I find myself getting over protective at the sight of my daugher's first boyfriend or my wife makes reference to women who enjoy sex being a slut, then we're just repeating the same old cycles. I dont think it's a coincidence that countries that are NOT sexually repressed have less rape incidents and less divorce.
Oh, and my daughter is taking MMA/Jiu Jitsu lessons as soon as she can and for as long as possible. I'll be one proud dad the day some boy tries pushing her on the playground and she puts him in a armbar. Say what you will about women's MMA but it's pretty inspiring for young girls these days.
Flmxer- I have friends like that too. (getting ill when their wife calls,or when its time to go home) in fact, most of my friends are like that. I never really understood all that. Just makes me feel more fortunate I suppose
Although I'll admit, having a daughter was NOT something I wanted at all for the longest time. But having worked at a Boys & Girls Club forced me to work with young girls and it completely opened my eyes to how rewarding they can be.
I was also coaching boys youth basketball professionally at the time. I mistakenly thought I'd never enjoy coaching girls. But I was forced to run a girls summer training program and the experience completely changed my perspective. Yes, coaching girls is DIFFERENT than boys. They're less physical and I like teaching dirty east coast style basketball. But the positive trade-off is that girls are more emotional and they instantly give you their loyalty (whereas you have to work for that with boys). Girls just seem to form that instant bond and it becomes a father/daughter relationship with the players quite easily. The experience was different but every bit as rewarding.
After all that, I totally was ok with having a daughter.
My wife wanted a boy. She was looking forward to going the road racing route and trying to raise the next Maverick Vinales. But part of me just didnt want to have to raise a boy that sort of pressure on him. We have a few pro athletes in our extended family. That pressure isnt fair to be born into. And I didnt want to be another "race dad". Now that we had a girl, we're gonna be doing sports with her that I know nothing about so I can just hire good coaches and observe from a distance and just be "dad".
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