How do i cope with lifes problems

travis-grant
Edited Date/Time 10/5/2015 2:06pm
I need serious advice, im currently in a shitty situation. I have the mother of my kids being a complete moron, sending me pics of herself in bed with another man.
Its monday and im drinking heavily, i dont know wot to do. Ive been suicidal in the past and i just dont know what to do to get out of thus hole.
My favorite race of the year is here this weekend and i cant even find anyone to go with.
Sorry to bother u all with this
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huck
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huck 9/21/2015 2:29pm
9/21/2015 2:29pm Edited Date/Time 9/21/2015 2:59pm
September is suicide prevention month!




Regarding the mother of your kids...shit happens. Would you rather tolerate her bullshit (can't you just block her number?), or kill yourself and make your kids grow up without their father.....thinking that it was something that THEY did to drive you to such a selfish move?

https://www.nami.org/suicideawarenessmonth/hp

Grieby54
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Grieby54 9/21/2015 2:30pm
9/21/2015 2:30pm
travis-grant wrote:
I need serious advice, im currently in a shitty situation. I have the mother of my kids being a complete moron, sending me pics of herself...
I need serious advice, im currently in a shitty situation. I have the mother of my kids being a complete moron, sending me pics of herself in bed with another man.
Its monday and im drinking heavily, i dont know wot to do. Ive been suicidal in the past and i just dont know what to do to get out of thus hole.
My favorite race of the year is here this weekend and i cant even find anyone to go with.
Sorry to bother u all with this
Seek counseling. Totally serious.

There isn't going to be a single person that is going to be able to help you work through this over the internet. Give yourself a chance and find a professional to help you. Your children will thank you.
lostboy819
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lostboy819 9/21/2015 2:32pm
9/21/2015 2:32pm
Go to the race by yourself if no one else wants to go and I bet you run into lots of people you haven't seen in a while and you will have a good time.
Sandwarrior752 9/21/2015 2:34pm
9/21/2015 2:34pm
As hard as it sounds don't try to fall into substance abuse .. It's easy if you want to forget about those things to get pissdrunk or high as fuck.. But in the end it won't take away the problems (i've been in that spot for way to long in the past...)

Try to enjoy the little things you have, i hope you have a good relationship with your kids despite the issue with the mother..

I found lots of peace of mind in sporting in studying the past years .. finally got me through a bit years of depression .. even just talking on vital in some of the topics and watching races live from all over the world has been enjoyable..

I don't trust in medication doctors give to people in situations like these to be honest.. It fucked me up more then what the initial issues where.. I was luckily to get a mountainbike not to long ago and i've done thousands of KM's with it so far and it really helped me mentally .. Cycling to me has some therapeutic aspect ..

I still wish i would be able to race again and hope that i'll someday make it back to that point, i've been working towards it and it's what motivates to keep going strong and positive ..

Sorry i can't really give you any real tips. Just be carefull with drinking / drugs / meds / ...

If i had the money to make it there i'd be down to go to mxon with you Cool

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Old-Man
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Old-Man 9/21/2015 3:07pm
9/21/2015 3:07pm
Hang in there Man your better than this, be a Man a don't go the suicide rout because that's the selfish pussy way out.
Get silbor and get tough on this shit. Someone out there needs you as much as you need them.

Stay right and we're here for ya!
travis-grant 9/21/2015 3:16pm
9/21/2015 3:16pm Edited Date/Time 9/21/2015 3:24pm
Just watching a film called ' living will' and theres a song at 15 minutes in, i need the name of. It reminds me of doug henry in terrafirma, where its all slo mo at castillo ranch
whyZ
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whyZ 9/21/2015 3:36pm
9/21/2015 3:36pm
Volunteer someplace. Or find someone you think that could use some help. You might find out that your problems really aren't all that bad. Most of all keep your mind moving, and your body too.

Read plenty of your previous post, you seem like a like a lucid level headed guy. As they say in moto terms, "you're in a rut".
peelout
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peelout 9/21/2015 3:40pm
9/21/2015 3:40pm Edited Date/Time 9/21/2015 3:42pm
my ex "accidentally" sent me some pics of her with another dude while we were going through rough times. it was the worst thing she could have done to me, thank God i didn't have kids with her.

i don't know what advice to give besides seek counseling. you can get help with your thoughts, unfortunately, if your ex wants to be a cunt then she'll do just that.

i've lost 2 very close friends to suicide and have first hand dealt with how it affects those that loved them. it's not worth it in any case. stay strong bro
travis-grant 9/21/2015 3:46pm
9/21/2015 3:46pm
Old-Man wrote:
[img]https://p.vitalmx.com/photos/forums/2015/09/21/105647/s1200_songs.jpg[/img] https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/songs-from-film-living-will/id473734279




https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/songs-from-film-living-will/id4737342…
Thanks dude but the song at fifteen minutes thirty in rhe film, is not listed. I went through them all earlier

travis-grant 9/21/2015 3:52pm
9/21/2015 3:52pm
peelout wrote:
my ex "accidentally" sent me some pics of her with another dude while we were going through rough times. it was the worst thing she could...
my ex "accidentally" sent me some pics of her with another dude while we were going through rough times. it was the worst thing she could have done to me, thank God i didn't have kids with her.

i don't know what advice to give besides seek counseling. you can get help with your thoughts, unfortunately, if your ex wants to be a cunt then she'll do just that.

i've lost 2 very close friends to suicide and have first hand dealt with how it affects those that loved them. it's not worth it in any case. stay strong bro
Im trying man..

Its the fall too, hate this time of year. Im lead on my bed right now, head on the headboard, left leg sprawled over the right, gritting my teeth. Outside is the moon through some clouds, the rain hitting my window.

Horrible
newmann
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newmann 9/21/2015 3:58pm
9/21/2015 3:58pm Edited Date/Time 9/21/2015 7:54pm
Somebody needs to be a good parent to your kids, it needs to be you.

Save the pics for the custody battle, you will need them.

Whatever you do, do not get pissed and show them to the kids or tell the kids about bad things mom does.

Straighten your ass up pronto and don't worry about a fuggin race. Raise your kids well and take them to the races when things get sorted out.

Sorry you have to go through something like this and glad I never had to but don't fuck the kids over.





MR. X
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MR. X 9/21/2015 4:05pm
9/21/2015 4:05pm
It sounds like you may be in search of some instant gratification or a quick fix . You just need to know that some problems take time to sort themselves out . Many people have felt betrayed by an EX ,if they can get through it then you can too , you are just as much of a man as anyone else who has gone through it . Boredom will be your biggest enemy.
travis-grant 9/21/2015 4:28pm
9/21/2015 4:28pm
MR. X wrote:
It sounds like you may be in search of some instant gratification or a quick fix . You just need to know that some problems take...
It sounds like you may be in search of some instant gratification or a quick fix . You just need to know that some problems take time to sort themselves out . Many people have felt betrayed by an EX ,if they can get through it then you can too , you are just as much of a man as anyone else who has gone through it . Boredom will be your biggest enemy.
This is it, ive lost the friends i had. Its wat happens wen u get serious wirh a girl, here i am ten yrs later with noone.

Where as she has a line of men just waiting
NV825
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NV825 9/21/2015 4:35pm
9/21/2015 4:35pm
Time to buck up, put on some big boy pants, and take back control of your life. Your ex sounds like a cunt who knows she can get under your skin. Be thankful you are not with her and move on. I'm not sure if you are able to block her because you'll need some form of contact due to the kids, but your best bet is to have as little as contact with her as possible. Be the best dad in the world to your children, because they are what matter in your life. Take up some sort of hobby to get you active, maybe like jogging or biking where you don't need to spend a lot to get going. Do it with your kids.

Also it's OK to cry it out. Life does suck sometime and a good cry needs to happen. You are not less of a man for letting it out.
MR. X
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MR. X 9/21/2015 4:42pm
9/21/2015 4:42pm
travis-grant wrote:
This is it, ive lost the friends i had. Its wat happens wen u get serious wirh a girl, here i am ten yrs later with...
This is it, ive lost the friends i had. Its wat happens wen u get serious wirh a girl, here i am ten yrs later with noone.

Where as she has a line of men just waiting
I went through what i thought was a bad break up when i was younger ( i was waiting for her to get home and her car pulled up with some dude driving) I was going through the same mental state that you are describing above ,i remember the feeling of betrayal and hurt was just overwhelming ) All of the sudden one day i snapped out of it and took motocross very serious for the next 7-8 years . Basically i lived life for myself ,i didnt even try to hook up or date anyone, i just lived my life by what i wanted to do and figured that my path would cross with the right person eventually. Time will fix this problem ,the real problem is how to make time not feel like its standing still while in the process.

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Cygnus
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Cygnus 9/21/2015 5:10pm
9/21/2015 5:10pm
It's been 10 years since my ex and I split up. She was leaving for what I thought was my best friend. It was a terrible time but the kids and the guys here helped me get past that. Now my life is going much better and I've had a hell of a lot of great times with good friends since then. I hope ya can see that women are not worth suicide. She will reap what she has sown. My ex was miserable with how her life went and passed away last October. We were together for 22 years and had 4 kids together. Quit the drugs now man. When the divorce/custody battle is over then if you want to party when the kids aren't at your place then fine. Don't give any more ammo to keep those precious little kids away from you. My kids were older but that and help from the message boards for me through this and it can for you too.
Falcon
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Falcon 9/21/2015 5:28pm
9/21/2015 5:28pm
That sucks to hear. She doesn't deserve to have you, nor to screw up your life. The best you can do now is go forward from here.
Sully
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Sully 9/21/2015 5:36pm
9/21/2015 5:36pm
I'm a pretty big drinker, but when my ex-wife walked out on my kids and me, the first thing I did was put the bottle away. Whether you have custody of them or not, you need to show your kids that they are priority number 1. Your ex sounds like a cunt, so if you don't have custody, you need to put the drugs and booze to the side, because she's probably going to tell them you're a horrible person. Make sure they know that's bullshit by doing everything you possibly can with, and for, them.

I'll add to the others who've said to seek counseling. Don't go to a psychiatrist who's just going to pump you ful of anti-depressants, but go see a licensed psychologist who will help you work through everything you're going through. It worked wonders for me.
MxKing809
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MxKing809 9/21/2015 5:47pm
9/21/2015 5:47pm Edited Date/Time 9/21/2015 5:48pm
Travis, a very young dirtbike racer committed suicide in my part of the world 3 years ago or so over a girl..... it's not worth it. He was a good looking 16 year old kid, with a loving family and a lot of skill in the woods. I barely recognized his dad a year ago when I saw him.... he was a shell of the man I met when I raced his kid.

It was an easy way out of an uncomfortable situation.

Your little man has put up a hell of a fight, I think you owe it to him to put in as much effort fighting.

Keep your head up man, we're here for when you need to vent or to reach out.
travis-grant 9/21/2015 5:50pm
9/21/2015 5:50pm
Sully wrote:
I'm a pretty big drinker, but when my ex-wife walked out on my kids and me, the first thing I did was put the bottle away...
I'm a pretty big drinker, but when my ex-wife walked out on my kids and me, the first thing I did was put the bottle away. Whether you have custody of them or not, you need to show your kids that they are priority number 1. Your ex sounds like a cunt, so if you don't have custody, you need to put the drugs and booze to the side, because she's probably going to tell them you're a horrible person. Make sure they know that's bullshit by doing everything you possibly can with, and for, them.

I'll add to the others who've said to seek counseling. Don't go to a psychiatrist who's just going to pump you ful of anti-depressants, but go see a licensed psychologist who will help you work through everything you're going through. It worked wonders for me.
Funnily enough, i live nxt door to one. Thing is ive known her 20 yrs so im not ok with spilling my guts, i need a total stranger to talk to. So there is no being biased *spelling*

I cant stop thinking how much we have gotten through though, we have had so much shit to cope with and kept strong abd beaten it time and time again, she loves motocross, our kids do too.... Its soo hard.

My parents split when i was 12, i just cant let my boys go through that
travis-grant 9/21/2015 5:56pm
9/21/2015 5:56pm
MxKing809 wrote:
Travis, a very young dirtbike racer committed suicide in my part of the world 3 years ago or so over a girl..... it's not worth it...
Travis, a very young dirtbike racer committed suicide in my part of the world 3 years ago or so over a girl..... it's not worth it. He was a good looking 16 year old kid, with a loving family and a lot of skill in the woods. I barely recognized his dad a year ago when I saw him.... he was a shell of the man I met when I raced his kid.

It was an easy way out of an uncomfortable situation.

Your little man has put up a hell of a fight, I think you owe it to him to put in as much effort fighting.

Keep your head up man, we're here for when you need to vent or to reach out.
Hey,

I promise not to b a coward. I shouldnt have said i was suicidal last yr, but i was. I did not mean i feel that way today.
I do have extreme deamons that keep trying to defeat me but its not happening . Its a no, not after the shit ive seen ppl go through in life.
Sully
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Sully 9/21/2015 6:01pm
9/21/2015 6:01pm Edited Date/Time 9/21/2015 6:02pm
Sully wrote:
I'm a pretty big drinker, but when my ex-wife walked out on my kids and me, the first thing I did was put the bottle away...
I'm a pretty big drinker, but when my ex-wife walked out on my kids and me, the first thing I did was put the bottle away. Whether you have custody of them or not, you need to show your kids that they are priority number 1. Your ex sounds like a cunt, so if you don't have custody, you need to put the drugs and booze to the side, because she's probably going to tell them you're a horrible person. Make sure they know that's bullshit by doing everything you possibly can with, and for, them.

I'll add to the others who've said to seek counseling. Don't go to a psychiatrist who's just going to pump you ful of anti-depressants, but go see a licensed psychologist who will help you work through everything you're going through. It worked wonders for me.
travis-grant wrote:
Funnily enough, i live nxt door to one. Thing is ive known her 20 yrs so im not ok with spilling my guts, i need a...
Funnily enough, i live nxt door to one. Thing is ive known her 20 yrs so im not ok with spilling my guts, i need a total stranger to talk to. So there is no being biased *spelling*

I cant stop thinking how much we have gotten through though, we have had so much shit to cope with and kept strong abd beaten it time and time again, she loves motocross, our kids do too.... Its soo hard.

My parents split when i was 12, i just cant let my boys go through that
Yeah, I don't think I could talk to a psychologist I know, either, but it might not hurt to ask her for a referral to one of her colleagues.

When my ex and I were separated, prior to our divorce, my brother kept telling me to stay with her for the kids, too. The thing is, I knew my kids were smart enough to see through it, and they'd actually be even more hurt/miserable if they knew we stayed together, but couldn't stand to be in the same room. If your ex is sleeping with other dudes, write her off and concentrate on your kids and yourself. You'll be surprised how quickly the good things start to fall into place when you do that. I can honestly say I've been happier before in my life, but I have never been as comfortable with myself as a person, and as a father than I am right now. It's a good feeling, and it's well worth doing.
travis-grant 9/21/2015 6:15pm
9/21/2015 6:15pm Edited Date/Time 9/21/2015 6:18pm
Sometimes the heart just rules though. Its one of mans greatest anomolies. WHY... Who knows, it just does.

I dont wish bad on her, ill always love her.. Im just sad

I wish i was going to france in three days
MxKing809
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MxKing809 9/21/2015 6:19pm
9/21/2015 6:19pm Edited Date/Time 9/21/2015 6:20pm
travis-grant wrote:
Sometimes the heart just rules though. Its one of mans greatest anomolies. WHY... Who knows, it just does. I dont wish bad on her, ill always...
Sometimes the heart just rules though. Its one of mans greatest anomolies. WHY... Who knows, it just does.

I dont wish bad on her, ill always love her.. Im just sad

I wish i was going to france in three days
If I had any vacation left I'd hop on a plane and come to the race with you......... and that's no joke
LoudLove
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LoudLove 9/21/2015 7:23pm
9/21/2015 7:23pm Edited Date/Time 9/21/2015 7:55pm
If your ex is sending photos like you say, then she's as miserable as you are. A "happy' person doesn't do that, especially one with children.

Sure, it hurts now. But it won't in the future, guaranteed. As the saying goes, life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react. You're young, you have your health, and I assume you're not a refugee. Compared to 95% of the world's population you're the freaking King of England!

MXerDW
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MXerDW 9/21/2015 7:58pm
9/21/2015 7:58pm
Please think of your children and know you are a amazing father and they need you.
kongols
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kongols 9/21/2015 9:24pm
9/21/2015 9:24pm Edited Date/Time 9/21/2015 9:39pm
travis-grant wrote:
Funnily enough, i live nxt door to one. Thing is ive known her 20 yrs so im not ok with spilling my guts, i need a...
Funnily enough, i live nxt door to one. Thing is ive known her 20 yrs so im not ok with spilling my guts, i need a total stranger to talk to. So there is no being biased *spelling*

I cant stop thinking how much we have gotten through though, we have had so much shit to cope with and kept strong abd beaten it time and time again, she loves motocross, our kids do too.... Its soo hard.

My parents split when i was 12, i just cant let my boys go through that
Travis. I went through this shit the last 2 years. We lost our daughter 12 years ago. We have two boys 4 and 8. Got divorced last october. I know exactly how you feel.
Drinking is going to make it worse. You need to take control of your life. She`s not worth a thought of suicide no matter how good of a women or mother she is. It`s over between you, don`t fight it. There is no coming back from this. It will always be between you.
Sully wrote a very good post.
All it gonna take is a little time. Don`t rush things. Try not to talk to her if every conversation becomes a fight. Your boys don`t need to see a thing of this. I know it`s hard but you`ll just have to put pants on and be a man in this situation. Most importantly- love yourself! (it has nothing to do with selfishness)



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